Who’d have guessed my life would become a SZA, Cardi B, or any other heart broken bitches album. I guess that’s how it happens with fuckboy love though. After complimenting his hat at a show, I decided to DM him. I liked guys who hung out alone at events. It showed less thirst than the other men who meandering around searching for pussy to fall in. He replied right away with the proposition of drinks and of course, I agreed. After securing the date, he followed up with a message that read, “TBH (to be honest), I peeped you awhile back at the Virginia Got Now festival thing. I was like hmmmm, I’m tryna take pictures of her.” Fuck man, just punch me in the pussy.
He met me at my house so we could walk to the brewery down the street while enjoying the sunset and mid-september weather. It was perfect and for once, I didn’t feel awkward when the conversation turned to discussing our life goals and the coincidence of me reaching out to him. Of all people. His eyes sparkled as I talked about food trucks, writing and promotions at work. At the end he smiled and simply responded, “I just want to be there for all of it.”
Everything about him seemed genuine and my heart smiled a little as I thought, “Fuck, is this the “hit you when you least expect it” person I’ve been waiting for?..” Eventually, we made our way back to my apartment to end the night laid up in bed, watching The Office. Before he left, he kissed me, but nothing more. I was anxious to hear from him again but fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long.
The next morning I woke up to a text and about 3 messages later he said, “..I was trying so hard not to cheese last night, that’s why I kept looking away. Because everytime I looked at you I started smiling.” Stab me in the chest and scoop my heart out with your fingers. I didn’t need a fortune teller to predict my future, it was clear he was a game changer. I didn’t know how just yet, but I knew he’d either wife me or rip out my heart with his abnormally long nails. Later that day, he called me, requesting we hang out again IMMEDIATELY. He didn’t have to tell me twice, quickly I brushed my teeth and washed my pussy. Just incase, you know?
That night when he made a move, I didn’t stop him. He kissed me passionately and I craved more of it, whatever that meant. I was normally a “Non-Kisser”, meaning, I didn’t like to fake the intimacies of a relationship when we were clearly just here to make each other bust a nut. But as he pressed his body against my back, hands gripping my hips as he kissed the nape of my neck, I couldn’t help but think more about his mouth. What it was about to do to my body, the sweet nothings it’d whisper and the hopes that one day, maybe, he’d hold my hand and call me his girlfriend. What the fuck was wrong with me?
We fucked throughout the night, and I can’t even lie and pretend I made him wear protection. I’m not sure if I was just having a life crisis or what but this man was about to have me falling hard and it had been less than 48 hours since we had first hung out. Luckily for me, it seemed he felt the same considering day after day, we texted, called and saw each other. Be it for an hour between him having recording sessions or late nights after I’d volunteered. We made it work.
Before I knew it, it dawned on me that the appropriate thing to do was start cutting off my consistent line-up. I hadn’t been responding to them anyways and I had no interest in doing so unless things with me and dude changed drastically. So one by one, I knocked them off my checklist with the “I’m talking to someone” text. Finally, it came down to cutting off my most consistent person and one of my closest friends. Sad day.
He took it better than I expected and it seemed like things were falling into place beautifully. Well, for the exception of the new baes, best friend. Who, on occasion, would send me late night, or midday, DM’s. Despite him being fully aware that I was talking to his friend. We were going on about 5 weeks of talking when I decided to finally take a break from him to go hang with my best friend.
Hyped and ready to turn up and gossip about everything I had missed the last few weeks while I was “falling in like”, or whatever. Little did I know, I was the missed gossip we needed to talk about. “Okay, I need to show you something, but wanted to do it in person. Please don’t be mad, I just knew I had to tell you.” As she tilted her phone towards me, it became clear she was showing me a DM from guess who?
That’s right. New Bae.