It had been about a week since the “move in” talk and we had yet to readdressed it. This, in itself, was not a big deal. Seeing as it was just a conversation, not a concrete step. What was resonating as an issue was his attitude. It’s not like he had done a total 180, or anything that obvious. It was more of an underlying distance that hadn’t previously existed between us. Looking back, I realize I should have recognized this as a red flag. But what did I know about relationships? It was a work day like any other and I was counting down. Hitting him with the, “You trying to smoke after work?” text. “Sure,” he responded, shorter than usual. Thinking nothing of it, I grabbed his keys and head to his house. It wasn’t just the “move in” talk that was being ignored. It was everything. So today seems as good as any to bite the bullet and initiate the “talk”. “So, I know we had talked about moving in..” I started, as he side eye’d me, “..and I was just curious if that means we’re exclusive?” His face dropped, “Man, I asked you to move in because I like you, but now shit is changing and you’re acting different… I think we need to take a break.”
It hit like a ton of bricks. How could he just act as if I was so disposable? With tears streaming down my face, I drove home to curl in a ball and die. Luckily, this break lasted about 12 hours. His normal ”Good Morning” text popping up on my phone. Despite my obvious shock at the break, as well as, the rapid turn around. I was relieved he changed his mind. When he invited me over after work the next day, I jumped on it. My poker face was strong, but even so, I was having a hard time not questioning him on what caused the prompt break. In the back of my head, I heard my best friends voice saying, “He’s probably with some hoe!” But, how? Prior to last night, we had spent basically everyday together, and most nights. When could he possibly have time? While I was sleeping? What a joke!
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t shake the thought of him hanging with someone else. With every phone ring or text chime my curiosity, or maybe better said, my jealousy, grew. Then one day, as we laid in bed, watching a movie, I saw his phone light up. A girls name, we’ll call her Jasmine, popped up on the screen with a message that read, “Is she still there?” My heart began to race, pumping my blood so hard, I could feel it pulsating in my head. Who the fuck was this bitch and why was she asking if I was here?! I lingered as long as I could, but ultimately, had to leave. Leave his apartment that is, not the complex itself. The way his place was set up, you could tell if he had company based on two things. His neighbors lack of guests and his corner location. So I parked behind his place and waited.. and waited….. and waited. But even after an hour and a half of waiting, circlings, and essentially stalking, I still saw no new cars. “You need to get it the fuck together! She probably just wanted to call him or something, it’s just not that serious,” I told myself. Only half believing it. Turns out, I didn't need to act like a stalker to catch him slipping.